The story and writing were great, every line was interesting to read and meaningful. The atmosphere and music were outstanding too! Looking forward for more works from you!
The concept is great and the execution is really good! In other words, I loved your story and how you presented it. You managed to keep the pacing well. Different aspects of the game compliment each other, really creating a tangible atmosphere. The only thing that I didn't like was the same sound effect repeating for the other character's speech. It got pretty distracting quickly and I'd prefer it if the sound was varied, shorter or just very quiet by default (not sure which would be a better choice). Other than that - solid story told well!
just wanted to say that i’m extremely excited to play this game once the jam is done with, just your screenshots of the game’s aesthetics and your writing style has me in love.
It’s a very cool concept and the main story - as far as I understood - is so intriguing. I think the translation of this did the story a disservice because it is confusing, grammatically all over the place and it changes in tonality which is probably not intended, as the main tone seems to be quite sombre and dark.
Personally, I also am not a fan of the use of the historical video material. Material from public commons movies instead of documentaries would probably achieve the same. But I generally don’t think the game needs it because the story and the other visuals are strong enough on their own. I think I get that they are supposed to represent memories but why would a human being have history channel documentaries as memories and not personal ones? I think it’s the loss not just of humanity but of my/the protagonist’s own personal history and being that I felt was most striking in this story.
But please, keep on working on this or other stories. As I said, the story at the core of the novel is quite beautiful and terrifying and I enjoyed slowly uncovering the transformation of my protagonist.
I truly believe you have everything you need for a great story. The main issue with jams always is that they are so short on time that it's difficult to spend it on the finishing touches and editing. I will follow you to see what's next because your ideas are great.
Master was right, huh? Revealing the truth only at the end did made the game a lot more interesting and made for a good cliffhanger!
Me saying this may not sound so nice, but I’m unsure if I have interpreted the game correctly, I might replay it soon. I did find it intruguing and I enjoyed the psychdelic storytelling, specially the use of the quick videos—those brought made me considerably more immersed in the story.
However I disliked the 2nd person narration. I think it’s hard to imagine myself as the protagonist of the story, to which I think a 1st person narration would work better for the game. Though this is merely my opinion and other players might feel different from me (I’m saying this not to be kind, but because as a writer, I constantly take criticism at face value while I not always should.)
Anyway, those were my thoughts. If you are anything like me, you will open your itchio dashboard twice a second to check for new downloads, good luck on those initial days of release. Hopefully your game gets the recogniztion it deserves.
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The story and writing were great, every line was interesting to read and meaningful. The atmosphere and music were outstanding too! Looking forward for more works from you!
🥺 Thank you for these pleasant words
I'm not sure if I fully understand it... but the atmosphere is really amazing.
Thank you! 💘
The concept is great and the execution is really good! In other words, I loved your story and how you presented it. You managed to keep the pacing well. Different aspects of the game compliment each other, really creating a tangible atmosphere. The only thing that I didn't like was the same sound effect repeating for the other character's speech. It got pretty distracting quickly and I'd prefer it if the sound was varied, shorter or just very quiet by default (not sure which would be a better choice). Other than that - solid story told well!
Thank you, it means a lot to me💗
just wanted to say that i’m extremely excited to play this game once the jam is done with, just your screenshots of the game’s aesthetics and your writing style has me in love.
Thank you very much! Your words help me believe in myself more💗
It’s a very cool concept and the main story - as far as I understood - is so intriguing. I think the translation of this did the story a disservice because it is confusing, grammatically all over the place and it changes in tonality which is probably not intended, as the main tone seems to be quite sombre and dark.
Personally, I also am not a fan of the use of the historical video material. Material from public commons movies instead of documentaries would probably achieve the same. But I generally don’t think the game needs it because the story and the other visuals are strong enough on their own. I think I get that they are supposed to represent memories but why would a human being have history channel documentaries as memories and not personal ones? I think it’s the loss not just of humanity but of my/the protagonist’s own personal history and being that I felt was most striking in this story.
But please, keep on working on this or other stories. As I said, the story at the core of the novel is quite beautiful and terrifying and I enjoyed slowly uncovering the transformation of my protagonist.
Thx you very much for the constructive criticism! My english is fairly average, but I couldn't find a good translator so I wrote the text myself.
I'm preparing a VN outside of the jam and in it I take this issue more seriously🥲
I truly believe you have everything you need for a great story. The main issue with jams always is that they are so short on time that it's difficult to spend it on the finishing touches and editing. I will follow you to see what's next because your ideas are great.
Master was right, huh? Revealing the truth only at the end did made the game a lot more interesting and made for a good cliffhanger!
Me saying this may not sound so nice, but I’m unsure if I have interpreted the game correctly, I might replay it soon. I did find it intruguing and I enjoyed the psychdelic storytelling, specially the use of the quick videos—those brought made me considerably more immersed in the story.
However I disliked the 2nd person narration. I think it’s hard to imagine myself as the protagonist of the story, to which I think a 1st person narration would work better for the game. Though this is merely my opinion and other players might feel different from me (I’m saying this not to be kind, but because as a writer, I constantly take criticism at face value while I not always should.)
Anyway, those were my thoughts. If you are anything like me, you will open your itchio dashboard twice a second to check for new downloads, good luck on those initial days of release. Hopefully your game gets the recogniztion it deserves.
Sincerely,
Epschy
OMG, I did not expect such a complete and good review almost immediately after publication. Thank you very much 💕